It turned out to be true but it’s also true that they only tell you that in order to frighten and control you and I knew this and that knowledge kept me from believing it was true. You never get rid of these thoughts you know? You have them every single day, you struggle with them. They take you over sometimes so that you forget where you are and what you’re doing. They eat away at you from within and so you drink, you smoke, you snort, you fuck, and in the morning your face is in the mirror looking at you. I went through a dark time before I met Samantha and fell in love. I won’t talk about her too much. She’s sacred to me and she makes me happy but sanctity and happiness are boring and I don’t want to bore. She taught me things, about computers and applying for work, she got me out of where I was and into J&J where I’ve got my own little desk and console, my own little cubicle where I can put up pictures of she and I and our cats. She taught me self-worth and for the first time in. Ammur ar amar lingo beye pora kamrosh bolse onek hoyese ekhon milito hao. Ma amar nunu dekhe khub khusi hoye uthlo.Kintu ami bujte parsi na ki korbo ekhon. Ma bollo tar joni dekhie,–purusher lingo narir ekhane dhuke milon kore. Er moto moja r nei. Tumi aso amar du paer majhkhane.Ami mar du paer majhe dhuke gelam. Se amar lingo dhore tar joni pthe set kore dilo. Bollo ekkhon ektu ektu kore dhakka dao. Ami tai korlam. Amar lingo ektu ektu kore mar jonir vetor dhukte laglo. Gorom r pissil mar voda, amar nunutake akre akre dhorse prottek thelar sathe. Arame ami jeno gyan harie felbo.Eksomoy amar lingo ta purota mar vodar vetor dhuke gelo. Ma bollo, ekhon purota ber na kore tano ar thela dao. Ami tai korte laglam. Amar shorir obosh hoye aste chailo. Mak ami chudsi. Je kina amar bie kora bou. Ma amak bollo jore jore dhakka deoar jonno. Ami speed barie dilam. Ma aaaaaKore gungate laglo. Amar thap er shobdo eto bere gelo j mone hosse baire keo sunte pabe. Mar hmmmmm—aaaaaa shobder jor-o bere.
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